Don't panic. My computer died again, long story. Hopefully Mike Wade can help us fix one or both. Today is cookie day! We have been making and decorating all day. I hope to post pics soon. I have a great one for wordless Wednesday. Merry Christmas!

Welcome to reverse wishlists. What would you buy for your family members if you could choose most anything. (I stipulated no houses, cars, etc.) These are my children's answers. They are both hilarious and , for the most part, wildly accurate choices. See if you agree!

Jeanette’s list

Dad- a game of chess
Mom- a blue elephant
Savannah-a book
Evan- a game for his game thing
Ben- a key chain
Joel- a deck of cards
Ivy- a soccer ball
Anna- a Wii
Trinity- game boy
Grant- a sort of stuffed football
Liberty-a stuffed bunny

Ivy’s list
Dad- a professional massage
Mom-a vacation to the Carribean
Savannah-the most high tech professional trainer to train her to take pictures and a pro camera
Evan and Liz-- a ticket to see the biggest library ever
Ben and Joel- a stage that goes anywhere you put it and band equipment
Anna- a grabby machine full of candy
Jeanette- a pony and a princess gown
Trinity- a trip to meet Andruw Jones
Grant- put him on a 2 year old football team

Trinity’s list
Dad- a ring
Mom- a new computer like Savannah’s ( a mac)
Savannah- a shirt and more computer stuff
Evan and Liz- another dog
Ben- another keyboard
Joel- nintendo DS
Ivy- new clothes
Anna- nintendo DS
Jeanette-princess ornament/watch
Grant- beanie baby puppy
Liberty- new clothes

Anna’s list
Dad- socks
Mom-a mug
Savannah- a scrapbook thing
Evan and Liz- an Xbox game
Ben- a cookie
Joel- and Xbox360
Ivy-a craft thing
Jeanette- something princess
Trinity-a Scooby Doo movie
Grant-a football
Liberty- a rattle

Joel’s list
Dad and Mom- out to dinner
Savannah-a new camera lens
Evan and Liz- books
Ben- Xbox 360 with guitar hero 3 and a guitar
Ivy- headband
Anna-new shirts that cover her stomach!
Jeanette- a new Barbie
Trinity- a ticket to see an Atlanta Braves game
Grant- a baseball
Liberty- new clothes

Ben's list

Dad and Mom- dinner at Ruth's Chris steak house

Savannah-car CD player

Evan-sunglasses

Liz-sunglasses

Joel-PSP

Ivy-cell phone

Anna-a robot monkey

Jeanette-Barbies

Trinity-gameboy

Grant-Football jersey and helmet

Liberty-chew toy for teething

Kristin- a trip

I feel like I need to explain. Depression does not necessarily have an instigating event, nor an easy fix. It is not really something you can choose to "get over." It is one of the reasons it is so hard to admit to having. I am a positive person, I love to get up in the morning, I love to do special things for people. My love language is "gifts" and I really enjoy getting things that remind me of people. To be honest, I did not even realize I had PPD the first time. I thought depression meant you wanted to hurt yourself and/or others. That you cried all the time and had a specific reason for being upset. I was actually offended when my friends told my husband they thought I was depressed. In their defense, I cried through my own shower and told them I felt like I was coming up from underwater most of the time. And I NEVER cry in public.
I did NOT want to be a depressing person. It went against my whole image of myself. I always wanted to be the "fun" mom. It as difficult for everyone involved. I was a little better prepared for it when it happened again. My dear friend Nancy actually helped my teach school, as did her daughter Kristin. She also accompanied me to the grocery store. It completely overwhelmed me for months. The point I am making is: if I could have "gotten over it", I would have!
It has taken me a month to figure out what was going on. Apparently, I am also a great actor(actress, whatever), because people somehow think I am gentle and patient(I think I am neither). Also, most would not guess that I often struggle just to go to the store. I have freaked out at the thought of eating at Golden Corral; all those people, having to get up and go CHOOSE something, it was just too much. I am not like that everyday, and it is not my "true" self. Would that there were an instant cure. I really don't want to take meds or have it diagnosed. I guess because I prefer natural methods, and to be honest, it is embarrassing to me.
But I felt it needed to be said for whatever reason. Again, I apologize for being tiresome when Christmas should be happy and full of joy. I guess part of it is that our funds do not allow me to do what I would like, especially for Christmas. It is what we have chosen so that Michael could attend seminary, and we knew it was coming, but is somehow harder to live with than I anticipated.
I have some funny stuff for when I have a moment, but right now there is a baby needing her breakfast!

Though it is wordless Wednesday, I will put words on here. I have not been sick or extrememly busy. ( Although, Joel and Ivy have been working nonstop on research papers that were due today.) I have been apathetic. I have suffered from PPD after past pregnancies, and thought I had gotten away clean this time. After all, my baby is 5 months old and finally a pudgy baby I can take places. I KNOW I suffer from SADD is that the right terminology?), but , to be honest, it is fairly sunny here, and I get out everyday. It does happen that Savannah took the 3 little girls with her to Memphis. It was strangely quiet and slow. The van broke down, and the car was on its last legs as rain threatened. But I hate to be so selfish and be all about me.
How to explain depression and NOT be so prideful? It is such a self-serving affliction. I do not always recognize it. But it is VERY hard to make rational decisions(ok, any at all) in the midst. Where does the Love of God fit in? There are things you know in your head, but you don't quite believe them. And you don't really care.
I don't mean to write such a depressing blog. We are all well, and have had several visits from friends, as well as a few completely unexpected blessings, for which we are thankful. We are fed and clothed and together.
I have not even written my Christmas newsletter yet. My excuse is that Savannah has the pix I want to use on her camera. Hold up your hand if you want a Christmas newsletter from me. All opposed ? JK, I will get around to it soon, I hope. Don't forget, tomorrow is St. Lucia day!

Wordless Wednesday

Funny Tuesday

Not to be confused with Fat Tuesday or Funny Friday; Largely because I am afraid I will forget by then.

1. Trinity is in the next level of AWANA this year. When she came to memorizing the books of the New Testament, I considered whether we should go ahead and start when she had 3 other sections ready to say. But then, I thought about the fact that she is the 8th child to go through this level and that we have successfully worn out 2 "Wee Sing Bible songs" tapes. Now we own the CD. I thought maybe she might have learned the books by osmosis or association or something. So I started the VERY familiar song of the New Testament books, waiting for her to join in, " Matthew, Mark..."

Trinity, " ......April, May."

2. As we worked on our phonics today, We went over serveral letters. If you have met my children, you are aware that they do NOT have use of the letter "R" during their early years(up until about 8, for most of them.) I am not sure why this is. I blamed it on the fact we lived in England for the first 3. I cannot figure out why the others do it. The neurologist I consulted when Savannah did this so late(yes, I was a little more aggressive with my firstborn) explained that this is the last sound English speaking children develop. ANYHOW, Trinity is following the same pattern (but, Grant is not), so we worked in saying R, R,Rabbit, covered "T, S, E," you get the idea. Then we came to "th" which she consistently says as "S". SO I showed her (again) how to but her tongue between her teeth and encouraged her to practice. She did, and then said" Th, Th, thrabbit!."

No comments from the peanut gallery on my homeschooling style please!

For those terribly interested in our family, Savannah and Ben have added to Trinity's version of the New Testament book/months of the year song.

Matthew, Mark, April, May, Acts and the letter to the Romans, June July, August, September, Galatians and Ephesians....October and November, First and Second Thessalonians, First and second Timothy, December, January, Hebrews and the book of James, February , March, First and Second ,Third John, Jude and Revelation!

So, Savannah finally decided to hold off on attending YWAM discipleship school for now. Which means she needs a job. and I feel incredibly guilty about making my almost 22 year old daughter share a room with her 2 and 5 year old siblings. Don't misinterpret, SHE is not complaining. The past few days have been interesting as she weighed the pros and cons and debated. The question quite naturally arose, HOW do we really KNOW God's will for our lives?

As a family, we have wrestled for the past couple of years with essentially the same question. We are called to ministry. The exact nature is always changing. We do not have the same revolving house full of singles we have had at other locations, nor the group of young couples. We are not involved at all with the local homeschoolers, though we have been prominent leaders in the past. We have not actively pursued a church calling for many reasons. (Hello, new baby here for one)

SO, the question arises, in a more specific sense. There are many things we KNOW to be the will of God. BUt on many issues He is silent. We have studied "Experiencing God", both adult and youth versions. Blackaby is terrific and really shows how to see God working and to join Him. Many times , we have inadvertently been in the middle of ministry. People came to us, literally appeared in our house when we were not even home sometimes. These are not those days.

Not a "Christmas-y " post for a Monday morning. Yet, vital to the impending season of advent. Ok, it actually started yesterday. I set everything up and then forgot to buy the candles! Praying to reconcile the doubts, to honor the newborn king with our lives!





















Savannah took this crazy picture while we were decorating for Christmas!