Don't panic. My computer died again, long story. Hopefully Mike Wade can help us fix one or both. Today is cookie day! We have been making and decorating all day. I hope to post pics soon. I have a great one for wordless Wednesday. Merry Christmas!

Welcome to reverse wishlists. What would you buy for your family members if you could choose most anything. (I stipulated no houses, cars, etc.) These are my children's answers. They are both hilarious and , for the most part, wildly accurate choices. See if you agree!

Jeanette’s list

Dad- a game of chess
Mom- a blue elephant
Savannah-a book
Evan- a game for his game thing
Ben- a key chain
Joel- a deck of cards
Ivy- a soccer ball
Anna- a Wii
Trinity- game boy
Grant- a sort of stuffed football
Liberty-a stuffed bunny

Ivy’s list
Dad- a professional massage
Mom-a vacation to the Carribean
Savannah-the most high tech professional trainer to train her to take pictures and a pro camera
Evan and Liz-- a ticket to see the biggest library ever
Ben and Joel- a stage that goes anywhere you put it and band equipment
Anna- a grabby machine full of candy
Jeanette- a pony and a princess gown
Trinity- a trip to meet Andruw Jones
Grant- put him on a 2 year old football team

Trinity’s list
Dad- a ring
Mom- a new computer like Savannah’s ( a mac)
Savannah- a shirt and more computer stuff
Evan and Liz- another dog
Ben- another keyboard
Joel- nintendo DS
Ivy- new clothes
Anna- nintendo DS
Jeanette-princess ornament/watch
Grant- beanie baby puppy
Liberty- new clothes

Anna’s list
Dad- socks
Mom-a mug
Savannah- a scrapbook thing
Evan and Liz- an Xbox game
Ben- a cookie
Joel- and Xbox360
Ivy-a craft thing
Jeanette- something princess
Trinity-a Scooby Doo movie
Grant-a football
Liberty- a rattle

Joel’s list
Dad and Mom- out to dinner
Savannah-a new camera lens
Evan and Liz- books
Ben- Xbox 360 with guitar hero 3 and a guitar
Ivy- headband
Anna-new shirts that cover her stomach!
Jeanette- a new Barbie
Trinity- a ticket to see an Atlanta Braves game
Grant- a baseball
Liberty- new clothes

Ben's list

Dad and Mom- dinner at Ruth's Chris steak house

Savannah-car CD player

Evan-sunglasses

Liz-sunglasses

Joel-PSP

Ivy-cell phone

Anna-a robot monkey

Jeanette-Barbies

Trinity-gameboy

Grant-Football jersey and helmet

Liberty-chew toy for teething

Kristin- a trip

I feel like I need to explain. Depression does not necessarily have an instigating event, nor an easy fix. It is not really something you can choose to "get over." It is one of the reasons it is so hard to admit to having. I am a positive person, I love to get up in the morning, I love to do special things for people. My love language is "gifts" and I really enjoy getting things that remind me of people. To be honest, I did not even realize I had PPD the first time. I thought depression meant you wanted to hurt yourself and/or others. That you cried all the time and had a specific reason for being upset. I was actually offended when my friends told my husband they thought I was depressed. In their defense, I cried through my own shower and told them I felt like I was coming up from underwater most of the time. And I NEVER cry in public.
I did NOT want to be a depressing person. It went against my whole image of myself. I always wanted to be the "fun" mom. It as difficult for everyone involved. I was a little better prepared for it when it happened again. My dear friend Nancy actually helped my teach school, as did her daughter Kristin. She also accompanied me to the grocery store. It completely overwhelmed me for months. The point I am making is: if I could have "gotten over it", I would have!
It has taken me a month to figure out what was going on. Apparently, I am also a great actor(actress, whatever), because people somehow think I am gentle and patient(I think I am neither). Also, most would not guess that I often struggle just to go to the store. I have freaked out at the thought of eating at Golden Corral; all those people, having to get up and go CHOOSE something, it was just too much. I am not like that everyday, and it is not my "true" self. Would that there were an instant cure. I really don't want to take meds or have it diagnosed. I guess because I prefer natural methods, and to be honest, it is embarrassing to me.
But I felt it needed to be said for whatever reason. Again, I apologize for being tiresome when Christmas should be happy and full of joy. I guess part of it is that our funds do not allow me to do what I would like, especially for Christmas. It is what we have chosen so that Michael could attend seminary, and we knew it was coming, but is somehow harder to live with than I anticipated.
I have some funny stuff for when I have a moment, but right now there is a baby needing her breakfast!

Though it is wordless Wednesday, I will put words on here. I have not been sick or extrememly busy. ( Although, Joel and Ivy have been working nonstop on research papers that were due today.) I have been apathetic. I have suffered from PPD after past pregnancies, and thought I had gotten away clean this time. After all, my baby is 5 months old and finally a pudgy baby I can take places. I KNOW I suffer from SADD is that the right terminology?), but , to be honest, it is fairly sunny here, and I get out everyday. It does happen that Savannah took the 3 little girls with her to Memphis. It was strangely quiet and slow. The van broke down, and the car was on its last legs as rain threatened. But I hate to be so selfish and be all about me.
How to explain depression and NOT be so prideful? It is such a self-serving affliction. I do not always recognize it. But it is VERY hard to make rational decisions(ok, any at all) in the midst. Where does the Love of God fit in? There are things you know in your head, but you don't quite believe them. And you don't really care.
I don't mean to write such a depressing blog. We are all well, and have had several visits from friends, as well as a few completely unexpected blessings, for which we are thankful. We are fed and clothed and together.
I have not even written my Christmas newsletter yet. My excuse is that Savannah has the pix I want to use on her camera. Hold up your hand if you want a Christmas newsletter from me. All opposed ? JK, I will get around to it soon, I hope. Don't forget, tomorrow is St. Lucia day!

Wordless Wednesday

Funny Tuesday

Not to be confused with Fat Tuesday or Funny Friday; Largely because I am afraid I will forget by then.

1. Trinity is in the next level of AWANA this year. When she came to memorizing the books of the New Testament, I considered whether we should go ahead and start when she had 3 other sections ready to say. But then, I thought about the fact that she is the 8th child to go through this level and that we have successfully worn out 2 "Wee Sing Bible songs" tapes. Now we own the CD. I thought maybe she might have learned the books by osmosis or association or something. So I started the VERY familiar song of the New Testament books, waiting for her to join in, " Matthew, Mark..."

Trinity, " ......April, May."

2. As we worked on our phonics today, We went over serveral letters. If you have met my children, you are aware that they do NOT have use of the letter "R" during their early years(up until about 8, for most of them.) I am not sure why this is. I blamed it on the fact we lived in England for the first 3. I cannot figure out why the others do it. The neurologist I consulted when Savannah did this so late(yes, I was a little more aggressive with my firstborn) explained that this is the last sound English speaking children develop. ANYHOW, Trinity is following the same pattern (but, Grant is not), so we worked in saying R, R,Rabbit, covered "T, S, E," you get the idea. Then we came to "th" which she consistently says as "S". SO I showed her (again) how to but her tongue between her teeth and encouraged her to practice. She did, and then said" Th, Th, thrabbit!."

No comments from the peanut gallery on my homeschooling style please!

For those terribly interested in our family, Savannah and Ben have added to Trinity's version of the New Testament book/months of the year song.

Matthew, Mark, April, May, Acts and the letter to the Romans, June July, August, September, Galatians and Ephesians....October and November, First and Second Thessalonians, First and second Timothy, December, January, Hebrews and the book of James, February , March, First and Second ,Third John, Jude and Revelation!

So, Savannah finally decided to hold off on attending YWAM discipleship school for now. Which means she needs a job. and I feel incredibly guilty about making my almost 22 year old daughter share a room with her 2 and 5 year old siblings. Don't misinterpret, SHE is not complaining. The past few days have been interesting as she weighed the pros and cons and debated. The question quite naturally arose, HOW do we really KNOW God's will for our lives?

As a family, we have wrestled for the past couple of years with essentially the same question. We are called to ministry. The exact nature is always changing. We do not have the same revolving house full of singles we have had at other locations, nor the group of young couples. We are not involved at all with the local homeschoolers, though we have been prominent leaders in the past. We have not actively pursued a church calling for many reasons. (Hello, new baby here for one)

SO, the question arises, in a more specific sense. There are many things we KNOW to be the will of God. BUt on many issues He is silent. We have studied "Experiencing God", both adult and youth versions. Blackaby is terrific and really shows how to see God working and to join Him. Many times , we have inadvertently been in the middle of ministry. People came to us, literally appeared in our house when we were not even home sometimes. These are not those days.

Not a "Christmas-y " post for a Monday morning. Yet, vital to the impending season of advent. Ok, it actually started yesterday. I set everything up and then forgot to buy the candles! Praying to reconcile the doubts, to honor the newborn king with our lives!





















Savannah took this crazy picture while we were decorating for Christmas!

When we had lots of relatives here last week, someone asked what Evan is doing now. I explained that though he has applied for several jobs since graduating last spring, he has not found one. So, he continues to work at the Rec center. Anna-Laura asked why no one has hired him. I said I suspected it was partly because he is so young. (He went to college a year early, then graduated a year early, so he is 20.) Anna said, "Yes, but he is smart AND funny!"' As if this was an attribute employers were looking for!





His degree in English was meant to help his entrance to Law school, but when the AF did not pick him up as an officer(and hopefully later sponsor his law school through the JAG program), he had not done the paperwork for any schools. He does have applications in now. And he gets paid decently to Lifeguard, teach swim lessons and coach swim team.

Friday Funny

Wordless Wednesday

Ok, My friend Jennifer "tagged" me for 8 random things in a "meme". Somebody please tell me what that is and what I am supposed to do about it!

Meanwhile: 8 random things about me:

!. I really don't like dresses unless the skirts are long and "swirly".

2. Whistling(other people's) physically HURTS me.

3. I was adopted at 4 months in New Orleans where my dad went to Seminary. The same Seminary my husband now attends.

4. I drink British tea every morning, and don't really care for coffee.

5. I ran cross country and track in high school, too.

6. Michael and I do NOT like cats and can barely tolerate dogs(other people's). I always say I kill plants, and pets overwhelm me. It is all I can do to keep the kids alive. It's a slight exaggeration, but true, nonetheless.

7. I am not a big movie watcher, I just can't stand to sit still that long. But I love to read.

8. I lived in Vietnam as a child, where my parent were missionaries, and it colors my world. For instance, it has much to do with my "pack rat" instinct. Having lost all I owned once, I hold on to everything, and let my children do the same.

We had a crazy busy Thanksgiving week! Just when I thought I might be able to check my email, blog, etc, I discovered that an enterprising relative ahd loaded a virus onto our computer and just about killed it! (well, rendered it useless for several days, at least). I felt totally bereft. I did not realize how addicted I had become to expressing my thoughts and reading other people's blogs.

Savannah is home! In the end, I went to pick her up instead of Michael. I decided that would be better than the consequences of leaving me home with the children! I had just had one of those days when mom needs to take a step back. Please continue to pray for Savannah to really KNOW what she needs to do next.

Ben enjoyed racing in the pre-nationals, but had a terrible cold on the actual day. The rest of us stayed here and continued to visit. I hope to post pictures a little later. Savannah took some pictures of me that are not a total loss.

Menu: Smoked Turkey, Ham, dressing, cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes, pineapple casserole, green bean casserole(2 kinds), sweet potato casserole, homemade rolls, pumpkin pie, raspberry ribbon pie, chocolate swirl cheesecake and pumpkin cheescake dip with gingersnaps.

GO Ben! 16 minutes and 32 seconds! 24th in the STATE! He is planning to compete in the Nike Team Nationals this coming weekend! GO Ben!

Trying to think of something funny. Being wildly unsuccessful. Ok, think of something thought-provoking. Again, nothing. So I will leave you with this silly poem Savannah wrote for her dad for his birthday last Sunday. Funny, Sappy, and sentimental. Happy Friday.

So this is the sappy one a poem by yours truly,

Ode to my father of forty-four
Who is twice my age, not a minute more.
It was he who revealed this fact to me,
I was ten, and remember it vividly.
He told me that when he was twenty-two,
He was half the age of his own father too.
He said this had been his discovery,
When he was around the age of ten like me.
As we sat in the car staring eye-to-eye,
I filed this thought into my memory,"
He must have been a smart boy way back then,
to think up such a complex thing at ten!"
And now on the eve of our momentous year
I think back on that memory and it is clear;
You were more than a smart man way back then,
You were king of my heart at the age of ten.
Savannah

Nothing of import to say. Today I have been contemplating the merits of showering at night as opposed to in the morning. Not a deep subject, I know. But one that has made a difference for me. I just feel better somehow, being clean when I go to bed; Like a shower after being at the beach all day. If I wait until morning, I feel like I am just losing time, and then my hair soaks my clothes( as opposed to my pillow, I guess). I prefer to read my Bible at night, too. I just can never be sure when I will be woken up by really short people, but I can pretty much guarantee I will go to sleep after most of my children. So I feel like I have whatever amount of time I need. Just what works for me. But, I would love to know your ideas. I am always looking to improve. Ok, to be honest, I REALLY just like to know what others do that works for them. I actually have a little trouble changing my habits. But not as much as a couple of my children. I am always kidding them about staying inside their little box(-es, I suppose, one for each child who LOVES routine).

Wordless Wednesday

Yesterday I spent the morning rearranging different bedrooms and ultimately the garage to make room for Savannah. She just needs a more private place than the schoolroom! It is slightly annoying that we have no attic. I guess the upside is, we can see all our junk at a glance in the garage, so we can't let it just build up.

In the afternoon, we went out to a beach in the next town over, on the island. It did not seem a big deal at the time, but Trinity got caught in a riptide, and Joel's Friend Will waded in to save her. Just makes me think. She was innocently playing a game of fetch the stick with the waves, and wandered into a dangerous area. I did not even realize she was in trouble until I saw her slightly overwhelmed by the water. I called to her to stand up, thinking she had fallen over. Will just came right in and lifted her up. I did not have time to react. The look on her face, and the degree to which she clung to his neck showed how scared she really was.

Of course this made me think about how often we do this same thing. We become complacent and caught up in our "game". It is too late when we realize that we cannot get ourselves out of the mess we are in. Sometimes we cannot even ask for help. How much more aware of his surroundings is our FATHER? I am thankful today for His omnipresence and omniscience.

Joel and Will

For more pix see: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=30009&l=40609&id=725730929

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=30005&l=aa792&id=725730929

May you be blessed with the knowledge of his encompassing protection!

The final decision included children in the birthday dinner. They were SO excited! We had a great time, except the diaper bag got left at home!

The kids' musical was a smash! They did such a great job. Unfortunately, Liberty was exteremely moody yesterday, so Michael had to watch on closed circuit TV in the nursery! Enjoy the pix!

See more at : http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=29931&l=01f47&id=725730929

GO Vikings! Ben qualified for state!